Rage of the angels

Funny! Isn’t it? As I start writing this article, I am not in a bit of decisiveness to the perfect start for the subject that I intend to brood upon. What is it that I want to write? and what is it that I can’t or that is making me hesitant! Well, rather than just sounding very analytical in an attempt to disguise the pandemonium in my mind, I’ll be honest and start telling you what is on my mind.

Morality! One word, four syllables mo-ra-lee-ti! And yet the most ambiguous word that I have come across personally. So what is it we are talking about. Surely if you know me, then you’d know that I wouldn’t be stupid enough to preach a sermon on morality. For all you know I might turn out to be like a priest in the whorehouse.

Just a few weeks back I was having on of my relatives at my place. When women meet and gossip starts, time seems to be running away for them. Ironically for us men, time seems to stop. My venerable mother and aunt were talking and gradually the course of the conversation took a turn and got onto the recent incident in Gurgaon, when a 19 year old muslim girl hailing from Delhi was found dead at a nearby mall. Supposedly, the lady had died due to a fall from the 3^rd floor after coming out from a pub at 3 in the morning. My mother innocuously not aware of the issue in totality were conversing and overhearing this made me sneer and feel very uncomfortable. My mother and aunt were talking on today’s culture and were amused at the fact that these days’ actresses are paid more for dressing with smaller and shorter pieces of cloths. Naturally extending this theory, they concluded that soon, highest paying actress would be the one for no clothes at all.

This definitely made me smile and my mind drifted to another of those fantasies of mine. But I think I’ll spare you of all those details. Coming back to the tête-à-tête, the ladies were talking of the immoral days we were going through and how today, there seems to be no respect for the culture and women are dressed so skimpily revealing almost everything. This made me so sick and I felt so sad that my own mother was being so orthodox and outdated. I felt like a teenager trying to avoid a topic when his parents try to tell him have sex or something embarrassing and so I soon left the room.

A few days back, I went to meet another good old friend of mine. As per usual protocol, we sat down in a pub and after a few drinks, my friend approached the subject of women and as usual when a few men sit down they obviously brag and boast of their chivalry and adventures with ladies. However in this case, there were only two men and I always innocently listen to all the stories in awe as I surrender right in the start of the duel by getting my hands up. I pretend to be the simple man with clean heart and not so cool.

So just like any other day, I sat down and heard my friend out on his journeys and voyages to the unknown. On how women fell to their knees and submitted to his charm and smitten by his good looks and they purred like sex kittens. Initially, it sounded great and it made me wish I was lucky enough. Who wouldn’t want a favor or a fellacio in the car. Obviously like any perfectly normal guy, I felt so aroused and wished that my lucky days started. Meanwhile, my playboy friend counted out innumerable instances of ladies whom he had taken out for a drink and then in a few days time, he was getting physical, in the pub, in the car and perhaps at times in his own house.

As I kept on listening, there was somewhere something that started disgusting me about him. Some where deep inside there was some thing that was bugging me and I couldn’t get to it. Firstly, I felt sad that my friend was finding it so cool to be the new age Emran Hashmi the wannabe. While I was safe behind the so-called curtains of morality, like majority of us do, who love to make a sling shot and throw mud at others, yet I tried to identify what was it that was making me adopt standards of duality. Perhaps the fact this friend of mine had a girl friend who with all her heart loved him in totality and waited for days when they could be together. She loves him more than he can imagine and is still clinging on to the past memories whereas my bastard friend goes around the city humping on different women with no control on his libido and no care for the lady whom he has promised to love once upon a time.

I had another friend who has slept with many men, perhaps more than 100 but then when I talk to her, I realize she is also correct. She says that abroad, men go through women as if they are going through pints of beer. Next morning they don’t remember. But if a woman does the same she is branded as a whore who is not subscribing to the moral standards of society. She has a daughter with a man she loved so much and who conveniently estranged her. The man also turns out to be my friend who ended up in south American and fell in love with another lady and then again came to India to fall in love with a lady from the north east.

Love! Relationships! This brings me to another anecdote of my life and my past and trust me this is the last one. I know you must be wondering if I’m planning on just telling you stories. Often I have seen my friends fall in love and so called affairs and then profusively praising and expressing their love. With utmost devotion them carrying forward their lives for some time and then more often than not, those relations shattering like infinite pieces of glass. And I wondered how people are so shallow and blindly put things under the tag of true love when don’t even know whether 5 weeks down the lane they might not know whether they might like to continue. Once in my own life I came across a lady whom I really loved a lot and then there was a relationship developing that had no name. True love and yet there could be no commitment as that had already been given to someone else. I knew that the lady in this context was supposedly and officially going out with someone else.

But still I treaded on this dangerous path and as fate had it, we despite the supposed societal rule and norms came close and got involved. There was a compromise in terms of the name to the relationship and there were difficulties but that did not deter us from coming close. It reached a point when separation for even an hour was difficult. And while I always craved for the name and doing everything that other guys get to boast of by being called as a boyfriend, yet I realized that it is not the name but the feeling that really count. Being in involved in a relationship of such a nature where the girl whom I loved and who loved me was supposedly involved with someone else out of cmpulsion was something that was not common. We gradually came close enough to the level that was physical and emotional in nature. This probably the time in my life when I realized how people who never bother about you ever are the ones who take the first shot at you to sling mud at you. Often I had to face the wrath of my other female friends who conveniently told me that I was being immoral and doing the wrong thing. I believe these ladies were playing the role of moral policemen. These were the days when I hated the world for being nosy into everything that they shouldn’t be talking about. A great level of contempt was in my mind and perhaps being the rebel and defying the norms of morality and so called conduct of society, I ended up with public display of affection to level I believe shouldn’t have been done just because of the fact that I was trying to prove a point. How and why the relationship ended is another different story but I realized for one thing that there are times when you have relationships that can’t be branded or named, when you are so helpless and consequently consecrated after being circumcised on the alter of societal norms.

If you notice I have mentioned four short stories with a viewpoints that are all valid. When I sat down to write this blog, I wondered whether my mother was wrong. Perhaps at times one does get a feeling that wearing skimpy outfits can’t be termed as immoral, it is just a form of expression and existence. But when you go to a pub in M block GK, or for that matter any pub and see young school and college girls getting ready to the extent of bending down and submitting to small time sexual favors, it really makes you think whether everything is indeed correct. Of course being at the receiving end as a guy, no guy would refuse an offer for that matter and so it is not just about women. What pains me is the fact that men as big hypocrites as ladies for that matter. Maintaining dual standards and going about hitting on the gas to fuel their libido is not something that I would count as a justification.

At times you do feel that perhaps the viewpoint that our older generation profess at times may be misdirected and orthodox, yet they do turn out to be true for that matter. We as a part of the society love to judge. We judge and judge and judge. But for what. Just to prove that we are so correct, is that not. More often than not, every one derives sadistic pleasure by judging others and trying to set standards of morality. I do the same. Why complain or boast. When I was involved in a relationship without a name and with loads of physicality, I was on one side of the line and when my friend was screwing around while his innocent girlfriend was crying remembering the good old college days of togetherness, I was playing as the judge on the other side of the line. And this is perhaps one of those topics that can’t be conclusive. Every time the bajrang dal or sushma swaraj try to play moral policemen, we cry foul, and yet whenever we get a chance to sling spit balls at others, we pounce on such opportunities.

So the bigger issue is whose morality is correct at the end of the day? Is it my mother who is so against skimpy clothes and cleavage display! Or is it mine when I was in a relationship, which according to people was merely an adjustment to satisfy my sexual urge. Or is it my friend whom I term as a bastard for not being honest to his girlfriend and going around getting small favors? Maybe he is honest, as he puts it, because he doesn’t engage in intercourse.

Sexuality is a very basic tendency of homo sapiens, but that doesn’t mean we have a blind world with engaging in sex implying that we do act as in the animal kingdom. We are different and though basic instincts can’t be denied, yet we have evolved and we need to respect some aspects in life. We might like girls wearing minis and showing their assets but at the same time we might not like our best friends and sisters doing the same and getting the glimpses of horny men.

Sexuality exists everywhere. In the office, in the market place, in the shopping mall, in the bedroom. Every place you talk about. Why don’t you have women perhaps bending a little bit extra to show their cleavage and panties to just get a few favors in the office. The accidental touch, the so called overtly tight friendly hugs, the casual patting and stroking. It all happens. So what do we do! In fact nothing. It is easy to go fucking around the city but it does destroy relations for sure. And then there are those convenience relationships which are open ended with no strings attached. Free and casual sex.

At the end of the day, one can go on and be fascinated or disgusted with what he sees. I don’t say that thing will change as I write. Morality is something that is personal and needs to be dwelled upon by each person by giving time to self and introspecting. It is easy to judge and be the so called critique. But the real challenge at sunset is to practice what you preach. Morality is something that can’t be fixed. It is one of those grey areas. I don’t proclaim myself as the alter of sanctity. I am also vulnerable and tempted. I might say deviating once or twice is correct but not more than that. But then this would probably be when I am on the verge of getting lucky. And when I have no distant chances, I would change my status and view. The then morality would be total sexual fidelity and abstinence from any unfaithfulness.

We twist and distort truth to suit ourselves, we undress it as if we are about to enter it and reach an orgasm. This is perhaps the dilemma or the unfortunate situations. We justify things to convince our self and adopt to dual standards. And this is what id like to close upon. I don’t give a fuck about what the world does. It is me who matters the most and I believe that adopting dual standards and hypocrisy is the worst thing a person can do. So I don’t say don’t have sex with anyone other than your wife and neither do I say do. I just say that define your own code on morality and have the balls to stick by it. You might be a master fornicator but then accept and stand by it. Second, do anything you wish but be ready to face the consequences.

As for me, I walk alone and still finding my own answers…………….

Rape of Democracy: Can we do something?

India! The world’s biggest and perhaps greatest democracy. Doesn’t it feel good to be a part of such a system? Does it not raise your shoulders with pride? Does it not fill you with a sense of egoism and nationalistic pride? Well as far as it concerns with proving mettle with democracy in terms of familiarizing with the protocols of diplomacy, bureaucracy and the process of elections, we seem to have been mastering the art to perfection.

With 58 years of independence and having moved on from a republic with strong influence of socialism and the influence of soviet brotherhood to a state of opening of the Indian markets with jargons like liquidity, liberalization, globalization coming to use, we have proved to be one nation with exuberance and dynamism unparalleled. Going through this roller coaster of transition, we have adapted repeatedly and perfected every nitty-gritty detail about every aspect that would result in us being christened as the World’s Biggest Democracy. Like a fireman having to follow the general protocol every time he hears the siren, or like the monotony with which a bank cashier receives cash at the counter, we know democracy inside out like no one else.

From dirty, petty politics, like a bunch of roadside beggars squabbling for a piece of leftover bread in the garbage can, we have politicians who seem to have left no stone unturned, no situation that they haven’t created and no solution that they haven’t found. In fact I think our politicians should be commended and given a pat on the shoulder in appreciation for their ability to resolve every issue amiably in the most noble manner so that every one derives the pleasure of the orgasm which thy derive ultimately after raping the system. They rape not just system but the people, their expectations, their hope, the morality, spirit and the conscience of democracy, the hard earned money of the tax payers.

This is probably the dynamism of the system. However, scratch the wound and we have merry and gay bunch of problems that still seem to be holding us back from being what we can be. True potential restrained and chained.

Every morning when you read the newspaper you probably have adapted to seeing news of murders and rapes. We might boast of IT and culture. Morality and conscience. The upcoming nation that flaunts a GDP growth of 8%. The sensex reaches new heights everyday. But how does it really make a difference. Is it material at all? When you have the libido of the nation that seems to be dictating and creating future of the nation, such incidents are an eloquent testimony of the virility we possess. When you have the rape of 1 year old girl at Ghaziabad by an uncle. Or the gang rape of women at remote villages Bihar UP MP and other states. Women being paraded naked in the streets of interior villages of Muzaffarnagar district. Being blamed of infidelity after a woman denies sexual intercourse to her father in law results in being tormented, paraded naked in the village and then being burnt alive.

Not just states. We can’t let the states have the credit to them. Our metropolitans are also experts in this art. We rejoice at the fact that Delhi attains the rank 150 in the list of world’s most live able cities overtaking Mamba. We rejoice at Hyderabad and Banglore being considered as more expensive cities in the world than Paris and New York when it comes to providing accommodation to US diplomats. But is it what matters? It seems so fake, when these cities that are being so proudly flaunted also show their dark and ugly face. When foreign tourists as well as college girls are molested, brutally raped and killed. Why? Is it a law and order problem? But we have such an efficient system of law and order.

We boast of the efficiency of the police force but we conveniently omit when a protector of law himself is victimized by his sexual desires and ends up raping a lady in distress who actually was at fault because she had a faith in the system. She makes a foolish judgment that any cop fights to protect the public. And so she innocently asks for help and she is rewarded appropriately. Like the gift of betrayal that Jesus receives from Judas. Like the famous bandit Salvatore Guiliano in Mario Puzo’s Sicilian when he is betrayed by his second in command and childhood friend Aspanu Pisciotta. Do you know what it must feel like? Imagine the days of innocence of you as a child, holding your fathers finger and walking, unknown of deceit and treachery. And the look when for an instance everything changes. The hand that you have been holding in faith is the hand that is selling their daughters from villages of Orissa to villages of Haryana. Its like letting go forever.

It is like the country has gotten into a fetish, wearing leather pants and garner belts with a whip in hand, sadistic pleasure is guiding our system.

Have you ever wondered what would the current decade be labeled as after 20 years. Perhaps the decade of MMS scandals. Where is the respect for law? When the law fails its own people, then these people start failing the law.

Everyday when I drive on the roads of Gurgaon and Delhi, I see hooliganism, vandalism and no sense of security or respect for the system. Violators have their day. Jump red lights, drive like maniacs, talk on cell phones and possibly make a mockery of the law of the land in the best possible manner. Who is going to stop them? The feeling of being above the law of the land is just too intoxicating to be forgotten. It gives a feeling of power possessed by an untamed animal roaring to proclaim its rights. People who follow rules are fools. They are too docile and have to submit to these merry men. The protectors are busy making money on weekends by parking a patrol car in the crossing of DLF and stopping every other car and finding faults like lack of compliance in terms of the sun shade put on your car. Of course they are doing perhaps the most important job. They are such philanthropists who let go of defaulters by giving them a warning. Of course pocketing a five hundred rupee note is just the transaction fee.

In a culture where the “Sab chalta hain” ideology has evolved, it in difficult to fight the menace posed by the hapless situation we are in. there seems to be a shortcut for every thing. It seems we are just beating the system that has been made for us in the first place. Vision seems to be colluded but then you have to move. Mist is a part of every winter but that doesn’t mean that the airports are permanently closed for the whole winter. You adapt and evolve. You upgrade.

I could go on and on. Trust me. But then I just don’t intend to criticize. Obvious question would be what can be done. Trust me at times we Indians keep looking back and living on the past and never care to make improve the present so that we can have the best future. You see movies like Rang De Basanti and it makes you think. Of course every nations has its set of problem. But somewhere or the other, you have to introspect and improve. This is what the debate is all about. Can you pin point and figure out one way of solving the crisis. Ask people to point out the deficiencies and trust me you could spend a lifetime of energy in formulating what is missing in the system and how it is lacking. But that doesn’t solve the problem.

I think we as a country and as a society need to understand only one word. RESPECT. If you know what this means, you have made the job easier. What we lack is respect. Respect for ourselves, respect for our system, respect for other people. True power lies in the power of self-realization and not in any other materialistic virtue. You have to start learning the art of respecting yourself, and the people you come in touch with. Remember you can get respect only if you give respect. Respect the system. If there are rules made, they are made for adherence and not violation. We can pretend to be vast and diverse as a nation, we can be the biggest democracy, but lets stand together to deserve what we earn. Try to make a change. And it all starts from you. I might be miniscule enough to do anything, but I get the sense of satisfaction of having followed the system, every time I drive on the road. There are irrational people who tempt you at every corner of your life to say to hell with the system. But then such irrational people can go on but somewhere or the other, you might get back with them but at the expense of making a mockery of the law. And the next time you are subject to an injustice, you would not be in position to criticize the system because you yourself happened to take things into your hand at one point of time. Respect not because you are scared it might hit you back later but respect because you are a part of this great democracy. And if we all start on an individual level, then surely collectively it would reflect.

True power is not the show of force but the show of restraint. Every one can be above the law, break the system, distort the paradigm, but then that denies the purpose of the system in itself.

A system which respects its people would be truly available when we have people who respect the system. The biggest democracy, would be meaningful when women would not be paraded naked or raped, when the girl child is not killed. When a model is not shot down in the middle of a restaurant and the culprits are free men. It would make a difference when innocent citizens are not killed in the name of suppressing insurgency in the northeastern states or curbing terrorism in Jammu And Kashmir. Hopefully we would not have the RAF, Police and Army killing democracy with absolute power exercised to control a simple agitation. Neither would we have custodial deaths and term our citizens as criminals.

I am sure that we would evolve and give a better India to our next generation.

Indian Hypocrites : Why India struggles internally?

For the past few months, I have been on the verge of writing something related to our system. Something concerning our outlook and view about life, the system and the paradighm we live in. If you read my earlier blog Hindustan, you would get a feeling that I have touched the topic. Yet effectively writing on why we are abusing our system and raping it couldn't be concretized as somehow my thought process was skipping certain areas.

Everyday when I drive on the roads of Gurgaon, I see hooliganism, vandalism and no sense of security or respect for the system.

Finally I have got hold of the copy of speech of our venerable President, which is bang on target and inspires me to formulate what I wanted to write. Probably next blog would be on that.


Please read this article by giving 10 minutes from your busy life.really good....

The President of India DR. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam's Speech in Hyderabad.


Why is the media here so negative?

Why are we in India so embarrassed to recognize our own strengths, our achievements? We are such a great nation. We have so many amazing success
stories but we refuse to acknowledge them. Why?

We are the first in milk production.
We are number one in Remote sensing satellites.
We are the second largest producer of wheat.
We are the second largest producer of rice.
Look at Dr. Sudarshan, he has transferred the tribal village into a self-sustaining, self-driving unit.

There are millions of such achievements but our media is only obsessed in the bad news and failures and disasters.

I was in Tel Aviv once and I was reading the Israeli newspaper. It was the day after a lot of attacks and bombardments and deaths had taken place. The Hamas had struck. But the front page of the newspaper had the picture of a Jewish gentleman who in five years had transformed his desert into an orchid and a granary. It was this inspiring picture that everyone woke up to. The gory details of killings, bombardments, deaths, were inside in the newspaper, buried among other news.

In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime. Why are we so NEGATIVE? Another question: Why are we, as a nation so obsessed with
foreign things? We want foreign T. Vs, we want foreign shirts. We want foreign technology.

Why this obsession with everything imported. Do we not realize that self-respect comes with self-reliance? I was in Hyderabad giving this lecture, when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph. I asked her what her goal in life is. She replied: I want to live in a developed India. For her, you and I will have to build this developed India.

You must proclaim. India is not an under-developed nation; it is a highly developed nation. Do you have 10 minutes? Allow me to come back with a vengeance.

Got 10 minutes for your country? If yes, then read; otherwise, choice is yours.
YOU say that our government is inefficient.
YOU say that our laws are too old.
YOU say that the municipality does not pick up the garbage.
YOU say that the phones don't work, the railways are a joke,
The airline is the worst in the world, mails never reach their destination.
YOU say that our country has been fed to the dogs and is the absolute pits.

YOU say, say and say. What do YOU do about it?

Take a person on his way to Singapore. Give him a name - YOURS. Give him a face - YOURS. YOU walk out of the airport and you are at your International
best.
In Singapore you don't throw cigarette butts on the roads or eat in the stores. YOU are as proud of their Underground links as they are. You
pay $5 (approx. Rs. 60) to drive through Orchard Road (equivalent of Mahim Causeway or Pedder Road) between 5 PM and 8 PM. YOU come back to the
parking lot to punch your parking ticket if you have over stayed in a restaurant or a shopping mall irrespective of your status identity... In
Singapore you don't say anything, DO YOU?

YOU wouldn't dare to eat in public during Ramadan, in Dubai. YOU would not dare to go out without yourhead covered in Jeddah.
YOU would not dare to buy an employee of the telephone exchange in London at 10 pounds ( Rs.650) a month to, 'see to it that my STD and ISD calls are billed to someone else.

'YOU would not dare to speed beyond 55 mph (88 km/h) in Washington and then tell the traffic cop, 'Jaanta hai main kaun hoon (Do you know who I am?). I am so and so's son. Take your two bucks and get lost.'

YOU wouldn't chuck an empty coconut shell anywhere other than the garbage pail on the beaches in Australia and New Zealand.

Why don't YOU spit Paan on the streets of Tokyo? Why don't YOU use examination jockeys or buy fake certificates in Boston??? We are still talking of the same YOU.

YOU who can respect and conform to a foreign system in other countries but cannot in your own. You who will throw papers and cigarettes on the road the moment you touch Indian ground. If you can be an involved and appreciative citizen in an alien country, why cannot you be the same here in India?

Once in an interview, the famous Ex-municipal commissioner of Bombay, Mr. Tinaikar, had a point to make. 'Rich people's dogs are walked on the streets to leave their affluent droppings all over the place,' he said. 'And then the same people turn around to criticize and blame the authorities for inefficiency and dirty pavements. What do they expect the officers to do? Go down with a broom every time their dog feels the pressure in his bowels?

In America every dog owner has to clean up after his pet has done the job. Same in Japan. Will the Indian citizen do that here?' He's right. We go to the polls to choose a government and after that forfeit all responsibility. We sit back wanting to be pampered and expect the government to do everything for us whilst our contribution is totally negative. We expect the government to clean up but we are not going to stop chucking garbage all over the place nor are we going to stop to pick a up a stray piece of paper and throw it in the bin. We expect the railways to provide clean
bathrooms but we are not going to learn the proper use of bathrooms.

We want Indian Airlines and Air India to provide the best of food and toiletries but we are not going to stop pilfering at the least opportunity.This applies even to the staff who is known not to pass on the service to the public.

When it comes to burning social issues like those related to women, dowry, girl child! and others, we make loud drawing room protestations and continue to do the reverse at home. Our excuse? 'It's the whole system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone forego my sons' rights to a dowry.' So who's going to change the system?

What does a system consist of ? Very conveniently for us it consists of our neighbours, other households, other cities, other communities and the government. But definitely not me and YOU. When it comes to us actually making a positive contribution to the system we lock ourselves along with our families into a safe cocoon and look into the distance at countries far away and wait for a Mr.Clean to come along & work miracles for us with a majestic sweep of his hand or we leave the country and run away.

Like lazy cowards hounded by our fears we run to America to bask in their glory and praise their system. When New York becomes insecure we run to England. When England experiences unemployment, we take the next flight out to the Gulf. When the Gulf is war struck, we demand to be rescued and brought home by the Indian government.

Everybody is out to abuse and rape the country. Nobody thinks of feeding the system. Our conscience is mortgaged to money.

Dear Indians, The article is highly thought inductive, calls for a great deal of introspection and pricks one's conscience too.... I am echoing J. F. Kennedy's words to his fellow Americans to relate to Indians.....

'ASK WHAT WE CAN DO FOR INDIA
AND DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE TO MAKE INDIA
WHAT AMERICA AND OTHER WESTERN COUNTRIES ARE TODAY'

Lets do what India needs from us.

Forward this mail to each Indian for a change instead of sending Jokes or
junk mails.

Thank you,

Dr. Abdul Kalaam

The god of small things

This is one of my favourite article that i got from one of my friends. though personally i hate useless forwards, but this one is something so god that i decided to publish on my blog...

This one is a must read, it touches your heart.

In Brooklyn, New York, Chush is a school that caters to learning disabled children. Some children remain in Chush for their entire school career, while others can be main- streamed into regular schools. At a Chush fund-raising dinner, the father of a Chush child delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended.

After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he cried out, "Where is the Perfection in my son Shaya?

Everything God does is done with perfection. But my child cannot understand things as other children do.

My child cannot remember facts and figures as other children do.

Where is God's perfection?"

The audience was shocked by the question, pained by the father's anguish and stilled by the piercing query.

"I believe," the father answered, that when God brings a child like this into the world, the perfection that he seeks is in the way people react to this child."

He then told the following story about his son, Shaya:

One afternoon, Shaya and his father walked past a park where some boys Shaya knew were playing baseball.

Shaya asked, "Do you think they will let me play?" Shaya's father knew that his son was not at all athletic and that most boys would not want him on their team. But Shaya's father understood that if his son was chosen to play it would give him a comfortable sense of belonging.

Shaya's father approached one of the boys in the field and asked if Shaya could play.

The boy looked around for guidance from his teammates. Getting none, he took matters into his own hands and said "We are losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him up to bat in the ninth inning."

Shaya's father was ecstatic as Shaya smiled broadly. Shaya was told to put on a glove and go out to play short center field. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shaya's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shaya's team scored again and now with two outs and the bases loaded with the potential winning run on base, Shaya was scheduled to be up.

Would the team actually let Shaya bat at this juncture and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shaya was given the bat. Everyone knew that it was all but impossible because Shaya didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, let alone hit with it. However, as Shaya stepped up to the plate, the pitcher moved a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shaya should at least be able to make contact.

The first pitch came and Shaya swung clumsily and missed. One of Shaya's teammates came up to Shaya and together they held the bat and faced the pitcher waiting for the next pitch. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly toward Shaya.

As the pitch came in, Shaya and his teammate swung at the ball and together they hit a slow ground ball to the pitcher.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could easily have thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shaya would have been out and that would have ended the game.

Instead, the pitcher took the ball and threw it on a high arc to right field, far beyond reach of the first baseman. Everyone started yelling "Shaya, run to first. Run to first."

Never in his life had Shaya run to first.

He scampered down the baseline wide-eyed and startled.

By the time he reached first base, the right fielder had the ball. He could have thrown the ball to the second baseman who would tag out Shaya, who was still running.

But the right fielder understood what the pitcher's intentions were, so he threw the ball high and far over the Third baseman's head.

Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second."

Shaya ran towards second base as the runners ahead of him deliriously circled the bases towards home.

As Shaya reached second base, the opposing short stop ran to him, turned him in the direction of third base and shouted, "Run to third."

As Shaya rounded third, the boys from both teams ran behind him screaming, "Shaya, run home."

Shaya ran home, stepped on home plate and all 18 boys lifted him on their shoulders and made him the hero, as he had just hit a "grand slam" and won the game for his team.

"That day," said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, "those 18 boys reached their level of God's perfection."

Funny how simple it is for people to trash different ways of living and believing and then wonder why the world is going to hell.

Funny how you can send a thousand 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding life choices, people think twice about sharing.

Funny, isn't it?

Funny how when you go to forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it to them.

It must have been love / Another one bites the dust

I wonder why people fall in love? Innocent question, yet the most complicated subjects to answer on. Despite considering the fact that 24 years is indeed miniscule in comparison to the extent of life one usually lives before considering themselves old enough to boast of wisdom, yet nonetheless I take upon the risk to say that all my life I have tried to understand what love is all about and trust me I’m truly clueless even after 3 serious affairs, and another two or three part time casual semi affairs. In fact with every new stint to experience true solace and tranquility, I regretfully end up with more and more contempt, bitterness and turbulence and perhaps greater wisdom and expertise.

I have often been plagued by periods of spasm, where there is a surge of over emotionalism in my mind and heart. Perhaps this is the time when I feel great joy and happiness and a sense of so called pre-contentment. A hope that dictates “Yes, there is a path that would lead me to a pool of happiness till eternity”. So, like a weary soldier, I walk on happily with my gun and backpack despite having waged numerous wars between the heart and the mind, onwards on the journey towards this oasis, which seems so lush green, so full of life and so heavenly. Just a hope because its never useless to dream. And innocuously, I fail to realize is that I am not walking towards an oasis but a mirage in this desert.

Feet bleeding, blistered and burnt after walking through cacti and hot sand, it seems there’s going to be no solace for this miserable heart that is so clueless, although ironically, at every possible moment of freedom, you see the same heart exuberant and exuding confidence and maturity, as if in a bid to show to the world how beautiful life is, and how content it is, telling the world “I’ve been there and done that” or rather “ I know it all, I’ve been through it and I know how things work. Trust me I know the dynamic and the equations of the phenomenon called love”.

And perhaps this is what is so beautiful about life, when you are in a position to outline and highlight the hidden irony. The time when you know that there is something so contradictory that is present, which can’t be seen by most people and you are amongst the very few who can identify it. Perhaps this is what gives you a feeling of being powerful.

Often I have seen, I like any other mortal, am the first person to laugh off scornfully at people who are so mushy and have those long dreamy eyelashes dripping with romance in them. Why? Simply, because I am so cool. I have seen it all and I know it all. Rather, I have the eyes of practicality, that tears the curtains of the obvious and find the hidden irony. I am the guy who has “been there done that”. I take arrogance as a compliment and not as derogatory comment that any cheap wannabe makes, just because he thinks he is the luckiest man alive.

Don’t you see the gray hair in my beard? No, doesn’t matter. Perhaps you do not have enough wisdom to see such trivial things such as my beard. Nonetheless, coming back to the point, I laugh and crack the wisest and most smart-ass comments on people. This gives me dual benefit of not only showing my contempt on the topic but also gives me popularity amongst my peers and letting them know of my so macho attitude. I carry forward pretending to be the narcissist. With every friend I meet, I tell them the same things.

Are you crazy? A woman. An affair. A relationship. No way. Do I look insane? Do you actually think that a guy like me would be mushy? It’s a waste of time. No I’m not gay but I a sensible. Women ruin your life. But perhaps behind the iron wall there is a nervousness that is so primeval in nature that you just don’t want to come to terms with.

I tell them why you should try and not get into this mess. I tell them that there is nothing called true love. It only happens in films and television serials. In reality, you always end up being hurt. There are gross misappropriations and deviation from the expectations that everyone has. I have seen this so many times with so many of my friends. Unless and until you are lucky enough to have found the perfect companion, all you can do is to sit wait like a hunter on the Machans of Jim Corbett National Park and count the black spots on your willy or the remaining few strands left on your bald head because of approaching old age.

Why do you need to fall in love? There is absolutely no point. It’s all a waste of time and energy. Men can never understand women. You think you can? Well if you think so then I think that you are gravely mistaken. Perhaps I am mistaken and I want a reason to believe in you. And that is probably why I challenge you in this topic. You see in reality, thing are actually so different. Trust me. I know as I write, this article has a twinge of betrayal, dash of pain, a spoonful of pessimism and loads of sarcasm, but I am sure like the person who knows how to search in the grit and dirt for a diamond, an experienced reader would realize that somewhere there is loads of disguised hope and optimism which is delicately wrapped in this write up. Somewhere down the line, irrespective of what I say or what people say, at some point of time or the other, there is a need for a soul mate. Call us social animal, or call us anything, it doesn’t really matter what we think or what we portray ourselves. Because the loneliness that is presented by the lifestyle of this century and in fact far beyond this century, it is perhaps in human nature rather man’s nature to be on the look out for a chance to settle down and find the perfect companion. The one. Of course people differ and case specific differences do exist. So if something I write is not suiting you, you could perhaps consider one those rare few ones.

I remember one of my very close acquaintances, who still has a very good influence and control on my life, had once told me the magic word “learn to live alone”. And live it that way because you like it and want it that way, not because you are having a bad time or because you want to forget your past. Every time you think on the lines of “ I’m learning how to live alone not because of choice but because of exhaustion of possible choices”, then trust me you are going to end up hurting your self all the more. Every conscious effort to make things conspicuous actually ends up making it all the more prominent and all the more difficult to control. It is like one of those promises you make to your self, which you want to promise yourself knowing that its best for you, but every time you think about the promise itself, you actually find it difficult to control the surge of emotions, feelings and desire, resulting in actually getting you come one step closer to breaking the promise and so in a way, hurting yourself.

You say today I don’t want to have coffee, because you know its not good for yourself, but every time you actually remind yourself of your pledge to not have coffee, it actually gets worse for you to control yourself. So the best way is to not think about it. Get yourself so busy involved in something or the other that actually makes it better for you to not remember. The irony though is that the acquaintance who suggested to live alone and enjoy was actually asking me to forget her and so I did.

Be content with yourself and your existence. Don’t make your self so dependable and vulnerable by making your existence in response to that of another. Your life is yours and no one else’s. So live it the way you like to and the way you want to. Often it all begins with one compromise and then another and goes on till the relation actually becomes more of a compromise and obligation. You feel choked and gagged and you desperately need some space and fresh air. It gets very claustrophobic to handle. In cases, you are so overwhelmed with the feeling of being in love that you don’t realize what is happening with yourself and then suddenly when the bubble bursts, you see that the dream is over and you are in the middle of nowhere. You set up a tent and start life all over again like the expeditions of the early man we read about in our class 2 social science books. Walking in a loincloth made of animal skin with a long beard and a spear in hand. Nah! I know I have this habit of over exaggeration, (as you must have realized by now!) What I mean is that you realize you have actually exhausted and depleted yourself of all emotions and feel drained and you have this feeling of phew! Lets start again. But what is critical is that you don’t repeat the same mistakes again.

Another friend of mine once told me that people are in love with the thought of actually falling in love. It kinds of gets so exciting and you conjure such a rosy picture about falling in love that you really forget the basics of being in a relationship in the first place.

You see in reality things are different. There is nothing called absolute love (Unfortunately or rather fortunately it exists only for Vodka). No one is perfect and nothing is permanent. Every one has his highs and lows. Your love for some one can’t always be expected to be flowing with a constant voltage like that required for the proper functioning of a fridge or air conditioner. It is not like a plug point that you fit and turn the switch on and Vola! You get true love at it its best! Absolute. Unadulterated. Fresh from the tree’s of Caribbean and served with a dash of lemon with crushed ice.

There are times when your feelings for some one else would fluctuate. It varies. One day you might not be in a state of mind to say those three words and when your partners might actually need it the most. So what do you do? Do you pretend with a false smile and say the words she likes. But she’s not a fool. She understands the lack on conviction. Or you just hurt her more by pushing her away. I know staunch loyalists and hardcore romantics would say things like so what? But then I don’t obviously intend to challenge such greats and rather lucky people. Why I write this is because often we are in love with the idea of being in love. So we paint pictures of fantasyland and you wake up to a rude shock when you don’t get what you thought you would. It is not the perfect harmony as you desire.

Now what if one day you come home and want some comfort in the arms of your partner, but she is too preoccupied and you feel neglected. And then some minor incidents really keep building up to a crescendo of despair, anguish and hurt.

It’s all a matter of clicking. A day with the gods favoring you as they favored Hector of Troy, with all the things clicking and everything sailing smooth, life can be so perfect and beautiful. But then everyday is not a Sunday and times may not favor you. You might actually find yourself facing the storm and end of the day you’ll be more confused than anyone as to what went wrong actually?

You are basically so involved with the thought and not the act. Its like you love to think that sex would be so wonderful, that you actually might not like it some time!! (Even though I believe that is not really possible, but then don’t draw inferences. I’m still you know….)

But having said like those management guru’s who only preach and use big terms, not knowing what it means, I don’t intend to say that live on and make a new start and that’s the end of it. It’s not like the ending of a fairy tale “They lived happily ever after”. Because life is real and not a fairy tale, so at times getting over someone and getting over a relation might be the toughest thing that one might have to through. At times, when love is diminishing, you have to create love and passion. In reality, you might have to make yourself love to keep the relationship moving.

Dealing with the past.

If you have not had a bitter taste till now, then perhaps what I write ahead might not actually be relevant.

The bitter taste is a reminder of the past that you might try to get rid of, but trust me somewhere or the other, be it over a glass of beer, it catches up with you like an old childhood friend. You try and run away and it still gets back. For no matter how fast you run, you are a convict and you can only run. Run from the past till you get on with your life by coming to terms what might have happened and saying that the past is something you can never forget completely. So just accept the truth and live with it. Yes every one has a past. Even I do. Even you do. Whether you like it or not, its there. But then the best you can do is to try and figure out a way to go on in life irrespective of anything. And this is when you can say you have evolved and that you have moved on. Dealing with the past is really tough and perhaps at times it is this that what deters you from actually being bold enough to move on.

I know I have spanned a large number of topics and perhaps, given the freedom, I might just go on and on, like a perennial river or an evergreen tree, flaunting wisdom. But trust me, I find myself more confused at times after one these discourses and certainly, I don’t intend this one to ending on a similar line. I don’t ask you to not live your life. I don’t ask you to suppress your feelings. Neither do I intend to scare you that you stop dreaming. Its just a man to man thing…one of those talks we might have had in a nearby pub over a drink. And now that I might be so far away, I thought why not pen down the wisdom. Perhaps writings would be there to remind you of my words long after my own existence perishes. And who knows I might actually turn into a big commercial writer someday, when someone famous goes through my site and offers me a break to write a book without actually asking me to succumb to casting couch in this world of sexual disorientations and MMS clips and scandals.