Isn’t it ironical? Walking down the road on a hot afternoon, you occasionally wish that it rained and how it would bring relief. You walk on and day after day and there is no respite. At times you forget and yet at times you wish how it rained and poured. Perhaps a few days later, it does and brings you relief and succor, but if its just one of those one day rains, it ends up making you more queasy and restless. The sun seems to blaze harder and fire more than it usually does. And the little bit of relief that was there, seems to have vanished into thin air. You curse yourself and you curse fate. You shout and anguish with all the pain and hatred against the circumstance that you are going through. But does that make you stop, probably not. You keep on going and you hope one day it’ll rain. There are a number of those downpours that tease you with the thought and then leave you high and dry, but one day it rains like never before and you are content with life. Contentment for eternity, till the next season comes. You are happy and you forget your days in the heat, and perhaps the season comes again, but this time you are prepared.
Come to think of your life, and you see it as so similar to the heat and rain cycle. Days of loneliness and wish for the perfect companion. Leading the material life we lead, there is somehow an emptiness and loneliness that engulfs all of us at some point of time or another. There are so many things, so miniscule in nature, that accumulate till a point, when collectively it looks like a big block that brings a man down to his knees. At this point of loneliness, you look out for a person to be with. The soul mate and the companion, the love of the life. And perhaps when you realize that you are so lonely, at times you get desperate. You try to make things happen in your life. Like connecting a dead battery of a car that hasn’t been used for last six months, to a live battery and creating a spark to start the car and charge the battery, we try and try to find that some one.
It is perhaps like the heat and the rain, loneliness followed by days of companionship that seem be so similar. With a new friend besides you whom you think would be the ideal lady of your life, you get the relief that one gets from the sudden drizzle in the month of May. But it is a matter of destiny, isn’t it? If it is one of those illusionary rains, intense discomfort arises from the scorching heat and humidity that follows. It is as if your dream has broken and the bubble has burst. You can no longer see the various beautiful colors that you could initially see on the bubble. The paradise is lost and so you curse god, you curse life and your fate and destiny, wondering why the one you chose decided to drift away. Why the lady you so deeply loved decided to fade into the oblivion. Perhaps the lady didn’t find you attractive enough, perhaps she liked someone else. Perhaps there could be so many other reasons why the girl you want in your life goes away. But then you move on and wait for the next time to rain. You get accustomed to the betrayal that nature plays, but one day it rains and rains and it rains. And you have the satisfaction and contentment till eternity.
Think of it, the cloud always keeps on moving and blowing from place to place. Halts at places, showers a little and then flows ahead again. Now it is a matter of perception, you can feel depressed and lonely and think of the lady as the cloud. In that case, you would keep wondering why she went away, and where she went, assuming the cloud is feminine in nature. You can spoil your mood and feel dejected and feel the pain as you think where the cloud went and how she rained. How passions burst and how your feeling were mocked.
But there is another way to look at it. Think of yourself as the cloud. You move on in life and go to newer places, come across newer places. At times you like the place so much that you finally decide to stay there till eternity. And till the time a cloud finds such a place, it keeps traveling. Traveling till it is on cloud number 9.
You remember the song “I want to break Free” by queen and the moment the line “ Ive fallen in love, Ive fallen in love for the first time….” Comes and it connects. What is fallen in love? During days of courtship, fallen in love is actually being inlove with some one. consequently, during days of loneliness and betrayal, Fallen in love probably makes you think of creating a degraded picture of love. Fallen is not falling down and having suffered, but its that love and the lady have fallen and degraded. Perhaps you deserve more or the lady didn’t deserve you.
Its just a matter of destiny. One who is to be the one would be the one. people say you have to make an effort to keep the love alive. But what is that love that has to be kept alive by making efforts to the extent that it perishes so easily. Some people are lucky that one they wish for turn out to be the ones who become soul mates. Trust me, they are the luckiest of all. But then for those who are not so fortunate, its how you look at things. Keep blaming yourself and hurt yourself, or keep going ahead.and think of the hurt you save yourself from had you continued and been hurt at a later stage with greater level of attachment.
It is not as easy as i make it sound and it always hurts, and it takes time to get over someone, but then soner or later, you do and you have to . Life goes on no matter what.
Having said all that, one of my dear friends once said “wait for the right person n u will get her. Till then live life like an illusion....Every relationship like a dream...
Someday u will have to wake up from it only to realize that it was JUST A DREAM.....”
That day you’ll be on cloud number 9
