The best date of my life
Ah! The miseries that today’s materialistic a so called social life that present us at every point of time actually makes you want to break free at one point of time or another. Waking up on a Friday morning after sleeping at 5 in the morning and actually missing the maiden lecture for the day at 9, I decided that today was not going be just another of the typical days with the protocol of existence that we have all developed.
There are days when you are just bogged down and tired of almost every one and any one and at times no one. Confusing? We live our lives in harmony with other individuals, entwined in a delicate and intricate web. So intricate that at times you forget that there is something that is actually existent in this world. A non-extinct specie and entity called the self. You just go on and go on in the grind, living every day monotonously, with no charm and charisma about your own life. You live in response to the world around you. There seems to be no life on absolute terms.
Tired of people around you, you keep struggling to move on and you do. No doubt that you don’t. While the dynamism and aura of life makes it impossible to be stagnant, yet you still move on slowly in resistance to the surrounding. Like standing in the way of a swarm of people on the busy streets of New York or Mumbai moving in the opposite direction, you stand alone trying to find your way to the other end of the tunnel that seems to be having the light from which people are actually running away.
I mean it was just another perfect day and no the sun didn’t rise from the west and yet it brought a hope in me that may be something would be different. Pissed of with life and the people around you who probably behave irrationally and hurt you, it’s just a time when you don’t want to take shit from anyone anymore. You reject to be the sand bag or the sponge, who keeps taking in everything that comes in your way, just in a bid to be the calm and composed guy who is never perturbed with anything.
Pissed of at what? Well amicable question. Pissed of at one of my best friends who just thinks of me as an agent to clear things with his girlfriend, who use me in the garb of friendship and yet is disgusting enough to suspect me of trying my luck on his lady. Pissed of at another good friend who turns into a bitch and makes my best friend fight with me and bring differences between us. Pissed at the fact that you try to resolve issues but the other person just wouldn’t talk. Pissed of at the person who you love actually turning hostile and not even possessing the basic courtesy that should be extended to an acquaintance, leave alone a good friend with whom she spent most of her times together. Pissed of at relatives who make your life more miserable. Pissed of at a good friend for letting you down by making a promise, not full filling it and not having the balls to admit it to you on your face. No I don’t want you to give me a towel to sob out or play as agony aunt for me. Just the kind of useless issues that emerge. Unreasonable life. Unpredictable people. Unjustified reasons. Unwanted feelings. And yet an Unflinching heart that is still ready to forgive.
You just get tired of variability that life provides with. You don’t want to justify anymore to anyone. To hell with world and who gives a shit any way. With a perfect Hyderabadi rainy day in place, and sweet smell of rain on dry ground, it brought about intoxication in my mind. Getting up and after cleaning my room after ages, hunger stuck its toll. Realizing that it was 3 in the afternoon and I hadn’t had anything the whole day, I decided to just go out and grab a bite.
But the next question was what? No more Biryani, no more fried rice or Andhra meals, I decided I needed a good meal that would make me gain some self-confidence and make me proud enough to say “Hey! I’m the Delhi guy. And what wonderful north Indian meal I had after such a long time.” This prompted a war in my mind with all the possible places I could go to. While I did prompt my roommate to go to Angeethi for a sumptuous buffet lunch, but not surprised with the fact that he is a laze bone and was tired after the days routine, I let go of it. Watching him going into a deep slumber, I just thought that perhaps today, I’ll finally get to date myself after such a long time.
One of those days when you want to enjoy the beautiful weather, and be alone, talk to yourself, listen to some good music. So sporting a t-shirt and a jeans with my Adidas shoes, armed with an umbrella and my Ipod, I ventured out into the rain. Walking all the way from LV Prasad Eye Hospital towards Somajiguda Circle. For those who are not aware of the distances involved, this is a stretch of about 4 or 5 kms. We were going to the new hang out called Bade Miyan’s Kabab Corner next to the newly opened Babu Khan Mall. We as in me and myself, two distinct entities meeting after a long time and trying to catch up with the developments in each others life. Mind you, Hyderabad does turn out to be a gourmet delight and paradise, but finding good north Indian food is quite a tough job. North Indian food as in colorful and spicy Tandoori Chicken and Chicken Tikka’s, lip smacking Butter Chicken, Dal Makhani, Butter Naans, with the green chutney and vinegar onions (“sirke wale pyaaz” as we call it). En-route, started my conversation with myself.
I was just thinking of how miserable we get at times, bogged down by people and issues that are so miniscule in comparison to the magnamity of life. There is so much to look out for than just small and petty issues. You just have to move on and walk over them and not look back. Just a few potholes on the road filled with rainwater and slush and you just have to avoid them. You step on them and you just feel a bit disgusted and yuck but then that wouldn’t make you stop would it. Just let it be and keep walking. So is life. No I’m not a fan of Johnny Walker. To be honest, I haven’t even tried it. But I like the attitude it endorses.
What have rainy days meant to me? Initial days of tea and pakoda with family. Next frame, engineering days – spending days with my girlfriend with romanticism in the air. Frame 3- end of engineer and start of MBA, being a stag, just the days when you open the bottles and booze out to glory. Like they say, “There are just two days I drink! One when it rains and second when it doesn’t”. Frame 4- today, just a day of pure solitude and being happy for no reason. Out of the blue. Not caring of useless people who exist to perturb you and your life. In fact there is a reason. I learn how to ignore issues and be with myself. Letting go of things not in your hand and just being with yourself.
Reaching Bade Miyan, I order a plate of delicious Chicken Reshmi Kabab & Warqi Parantha. Follow this by a trip into Baker’s Inn and feasting myself on a gooey and liquidy freshly baked chocolate éclair and a chocolate tart. I just love it, the choolate melting in my mouth. Emerging from the bakery, I smile at myself for being so nice to myself. But the date is not complete yet. I recalled my train journey in 1st year, when one of our pass out seniors who had recommended Café Odyssey opposite to Classic Jewels at Somajigauda. Just then the Air Supply song “ I’m all out of love” was playing and reminded of Jerry Maguire, the movie I saw just a few days back.
The weather was wonderful. Wind smashing across my face, the slight drizzle alternating with the occasional downpour and the traffic going haywire and coming to a standstill, and the fights I had with my umbrella who wanted to just fly away into the wind. I was just in pure bliss and solitude.
Entering Café Odyssey, I was somehow stumped and surprised with the fact that I had missed out coming to such a great place with a continental and Italian menu. While reading fried Fish with tartar sauce and spaghetti bolognaise made me vulnerable, I settled with a cappuccino, ending my perfect evening with a warm signature. At the table nearby a beautiful couple sitting were incessantly chatting. As usual the guy was quite while the beautiful lady chattered away to glory, I just smiled forgetting all my rough experiences and I just thought that may be someday, I’ll be in a similar position. Perhaps a steamy office affair. But for the time being, I’m just single, not so ready to mingle and I’m just loving it. Despite being roughed up by so many useless ladies, somehow it doesn’t kill the feeling in me, just makes it hide behind the curtains of inhibition.
And so I smiled and watched them chat, watched it rain outside, watched a travelogue on Travel& Discovery and heard some great music. A chat with my mother and my brother, informing them of the beautiful day made my evening. Somehow world was so good and content. People come and go. They pretend to be friends and promise you have unwavering support till eternity. But no one stays. Walking back to my home, I knew nothing else really mattered. No matter who comes and who goes and what any one says, you have to be alone and you have be in love with yourself. If you are in love with yourself, then trust me you have made your life free from loneliness. Second, if you learn how to live alone you would not need people around yourself to remember that you exist. Third learn to let go. Just let things be and be oblivious to your surrounding and do things because you want to.
That’s about it. Nothing more and nothing less.
