Love Aaj Kal

Just returned from the theater. Love Aaj Kal. The movie which has been much awaited, not because of the star cast or the extraordinary script or anything else; rather because Bollywood seemed to be devoid of any good movies, from a long time. Especially with the IPL followed by the fight amongst distributors and theater owners, and with Kambakkht Ishq turning out to be a sweet disappointment. Nonetheless, I’d say Love Aaj Kal was a fresh and nice movie which I say after a long time.

Watching the sweet romantic movie, perhaps made me emotional with tears streaming down my cheeks, as always. A good entertainer. Perhaps what I liked about the movie, was not only the vibrancy, the colors, Deepika Padukone’s looks and Saif Ali Khan’s physique, but also the way there were two love stories going on in parallel, one in the current context, between Saif and Deepika but also the one in the past, between Rishi Kapoor and his Harleen. The constant switching from the current context to the past was something that was spellbinding, and perhaps made me remember Rang De Basanti where such a similar approach was adopted.

The movie was quite similar to Saif’s previous movie Hum Tum, inspired from Harry Met Sally, and the innumerable other movies that have tried to capture the core theme that defines the very existence of Bollywood. But while my mind was once again conjured with another perfect love story and I tried to draw parallels to my life and fantasized that perhaps one day I would be in love with a girl like Deepika and a life that would be like And they lived happily ever after. Perhaps that’s the child in me that is tired of the sudden burst of reality shows. The child who hates every attempt to sound logical and act mature by watching hard hitting movies, like those Madhur Bhandarkar films. The child that is hidden somewhere deep inside, who somehow gets lost in translation in the reality of everyday life. The child who feels a loss of privacy when your own life feels like a reality show with the thousand invisible spectators.

Coming back to the movie, I enjoyed every bit of it. I wouldn’t feel bad to admit that like many, I am also one of those stereotyped filmi audience who is spell bound about the beauty of the actress. Right from Titanic, when I felt that Kate was the most prettiest thing ever, to Hum Dill De Chuke Sanam for Aishwarya and Om Shanti Om for Deepika, and once again Love Aaj Kal reignited the passion in me once again. It made me spell bound on Deepika’s beauty, and of course the typical love story which has been portrayed in the film. I wondered how I would be in love with some one as pretty and humble as Deepika. I guess that’s enough about my chanting on Deepika.

But the real reason why I write is upon what I was thinking as I was driving back home after the movie. Perhaps the demarcation about the reality and films is the practicality which Saif talked about in the movie right at the start. I was just thinking and correlating to my own life and I thought that it is only in films that the two lovers realize that they are made for each other and run back to each other, irrespective of how and where they are. It is only in movies when they come upon this point when self realization dawns upon them and of course there is a lightening and a voice in the sky (if it’s a Ramanand Sagar presentation), where the girl and the boy, or either of them realize that they are made for each other and then they just know that they have to be with each other, when they then run back, and the so called ending “And they lived happily ever after”. But does it really happen in real life. Does it happen that the girls decides that if its not this guy, there would be no one else. Does it happen that there is no “And they lived happily ever after”. How often it occurs when practicality sweeps the minds of real people and they compromise with life.

Just a thought as I recollected the movie. What would have happened when Saif would have come back to see Deepika actually being happily married. Perhaps similar to Bachna Ae Hassino when Ranbir comes back to find his Mahi married with Kids. Would it be different if Deepika despite being married would have accepted that she loved Saif and not her husband? What I am trying to drive at is that this happens only in reel life and not real life. Real life is bound with compromises and understandings. How often it has happened, when the guy goes for girl II, because girl I is not available. Or perhaps after Girl I gets married, she doesn’t remember Boy Friend I any more. She justifies the w hole scenario where Husband I is the only one and she justifies that what she did and where she is just perfect and correct. What happens to ex-boyfriend I in that scenario.

I mean, Saif realized it much later that he was actually in love with Deepika and then he rushes back to see her still waiting for him. What if he came back to find out that Deepika was already married and didn’t care or rather even remember Saif at all. Or perhaps, after the intial break off , Saif was still in love for the next X number of years but perhaps, the girl turned into the ice princess (aka bitch) and couldn’t care less. Perhaps we would have termed it that this was perhaps not true love and that is why it didn’t happen. What if Saif waited for years for Deepika in anticipation, but only to sadly find that there was no Deepika. And there was no and they lived happily ever after. I’ve gone through those days when despite breaking up, and not having spoken to that special for years, I’ve still remembered her like crazy. But then, nothing else matters.

But what I am trying to get at is that in real life, no one waits. No one. No one cares. Its not about right or wrong. Its not about true love and doing the right thing. Its all about timing. Correct timing and you might be lucky. Incorrect timing and it might be a compromise. A compromise that may turn out to be either the best thing that happened to you. This perhaps when you would easily say that everything happens for the best. A compromise that may turn out to be a disaster that leaves a foul taste in your mouth. A disaster that may again lead to either you deciding to look out for some one or just accepting the fact and living your life in the memories of the good times you spent with that some one special. I mean it’s a never ending cycle.

Somebody's Me lyrics

You, do you remember me?
Like I remember you?
Do you spend your life
Going back in your mind to that time?
Because I, I walk the streets alone
I hate being on my own
And everyone can see that I refell
And I'm going through hell
Thinking about you with somebody else

[CHORUS]
Somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody can't breath without you, it's lonely
Somebody hopes that someday you will see
That Somebody's Me [2x]

How, How could we go wrong
It was so good and now it's gone
And I pray at night that our paths soon will cross
And what we had isn't lost
Cause you're always right here in my thoughts

[Chorus]
Somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody can't breath without you, it's lonely
Somebody hopes that someday you will see
That Somebody's Me [2x]

You'll always be in my life
Even if I'm not in your life
Because you're in my memory
You, will you remember me
And before you set me free
Oh listen please

[Chorus]
Somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody can't breath without you, it's lonely
Somebody hopes that someday you will see
That Somebody's Me [5x] 

Ode to my family

I have been hearing this song from such a long time but recently just heard it really carefully to realize hw beautifual the lyrics are.... do read the lyrics nd sing along...

Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo... 

Understand the things I say, don't turn away from me,
'Cause I've spent half my life out there, you wouldn't disagree.
Do you see me? Do you see? Do you like me?
Do you like me standing there? Do you notice?
Do you know? Do you see me? Do you see me?
Does anyone care? 

Unhappiness where's when I was young,
And we didn't give a damn,
'Cause we were raised,
To see life as fun and take it if we can.
My mother, my mother,
She hold me, she hold me, when I was out there.
My father, my father,
He liked me, oh, he liked me. Does anyone care?

Understand what I've become, it wasn't my design.
And people ev'rywhere think, something better than I am.
But I miss you, I miss, 'cause I liked it,
'Cause I liked it, when I was out there. Do you know this?
Do you know you did not find me. You did not find.
Does anyone care?

Unhappiness where's when I was young,
And we didn't give a damn, 
'Cause we were raised,
To see life as fun and take it if we can.
My mother, my mother,
She hold me, she hold me, when I was out there. 

My father, my father,
He liked me, oh, he liked me.

Does anyone care?... [X9]
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo...

Loneliness

Isn’t it ironical? You search an entire lifetime looking for people whom you can call yours, on whom you can trust and rely on. You create an entire pool of acquaintances and people whom you call as friends and family. But at times when you need them the most, you realize it’s all a farce truth and you realize that you are actually alone, standing in the dark in the middle of nowhere, groping and gasping for a breath of air that you can call as yours. Alas! You can’t even call that as yours. You are just all alone, gasping for one true breath of hope and existence.

It’s a cruel world where you have to realize that no one is yours and you might perhaps be the only breath of reality for the people who depend on you and when they need you, and you can’t be there, then there is no one whom you thought you could trust upon. That is when you feel so helpless and insecure. Perhaps this is life and this is the true reality.

All my life, ever since I took control of myself and my family, I have dawned upon the realization through the hard way. So, am I debating on people and their attitudes? Not really. People don’t change. They are always the way they have been and would be. It’s just the disappointment you go through when all this happens. The disappointment when expectations break. Disappointment when you lead down an empty staircase hoping that there would be some at the end, but it ends up like a mirage in the desert.

Too abstract? Who am I really talking about? Is it friends or is it that some one special whom you want to be standing behind your back all the time. Is it family and relatives? Well, I guess all I can say is that it is a hot soup with all the ingredients brewed delicately over a period of time. Yes, it is about friends, ex-girlfriends and family and relatives.

It happens all the time. So many a times when you pick up your cell phone and browse through you entire phone book looking for a person to talk and you find none. When you are euphoric about something but it is meaningless because you cant share it. When you are sad and low and you just need someone but everyone is just too busy. When you have so many entries in your phonebook but they all become meaningless. You become dyslexic. All the letters jump and become incorrigible. And of course there is always the other side and people have their own priorities but then at one point of time you get fucking tired. Tired of excuses. Tired of being understanding and accommodating. Tired of listening to why people aren’t there for you.

At first it starts with just being understanding and convincing yourself that perhaps there is a genuine reason why the person you want is not around. Why the friend you want to talk to is not available. And then you dial another number and see that the next person is not around as well. And you say perhaps this a bad day.

Eventually, you dawn upon the realization that at times when you need people to talk to, they are just not around. That leads you to question whether all the social networking that made you think that you were popular, was it just a mirage or a façade. Is it like the Italian blinds hanging on the wall, which when opens makes you look at the entire world as a magical place? And the next moment it is closed and you are totally shut off from the world.

Wonder what is essentially the cause of the whole situation. Is it expectations being greater than the reality? Or is it a case of distorted perception that is interfering with the subsequent of acceptance of reality.

With times, lot of people come and go. Nothing is permanent in life. One that stays you yourself. The environment and the people in it are only secondary in nature. It is a basic tendency of the human mind to avoid change. You grow into a comfort zone and then you just live with it. But then if life were to be so static in nature, it would surely lead to lack of contentment.

So then what is that you are looking for? Contentment? Or is it merely something that you think would lead you to contentment? Just because you have never had those conversations with your self to understand what exactly is it that you are looking for? The conversation with your self that leads you to the definitive answer of how you define contentment.

At times, you are just involved in the grind that you just borrow the perceptions of others and make it your own. Just because you think you don’t have time. Later when you achieve that you seek, you realize this is not something that you were actually looking for.

At times, when you reach the peak of the mountain that you so desperately were seeking to climb, you fail to realize the euphoria that you truly anticipated at such a moment. Do you feel a sour taste in your mouth? Like you thought you were going to have a chocolate cake that seemed so tempting, but it turned out to be less than you anticipated.

At times in my life, I’ve reached the horizon and achieved things that I really wanted to but when I did, I failed to feel that what I wanted to. Success seemed empty because there was no one to share it with. And yet there have been times when you had people praising you profusely on achievements that perhaps didn’t mean any thing to you. And you grow confused if these accolades are genuine or perhaps a mockery of your own self because people underestimate you.


Gradually, it boils down to mere reduction of your personal expectation levels, and accepting that it is you and only you that make a difference. The greatest love is love for thyself… and if you can learn to live with yourself, then you stand as a rock. Unperturbed by the silent seas or the raging hurricane. Monumental influx of societal façade or continued pangs of loneliness, irrespective, you learn to live on. And in the process if you happen to find people whom you can count on your finger tips, who would always be there for you when you need them, I’d say I would have derived a contentment of a lifetime.

Cheers!!!

Journey into the mind of the broken heart

So many years and so many storms and yet for the captain of the ship, each storm is just as good as a new one. He can learn from previous incidents but not to the extent of actually being able to master every possible storm in the future. Experience makes you more familiar with the process but not with anything else. It’s like the doctor with the scalpel in his hand. As a doctor, you might have performed millions of operations and yet, the next operation can not have a tag of 100 percent guaranteed success.

Just strange corollaries for love and women. It all looks so fascinating as long as you don’t have it in life. The moment you do, grass on the other side looks greener. A few days back one of close friends came up with a problem in his so called “love life”. Me being the permanent actor in the operas with the same role of agony aunt, decided to sit down one day and hear him out.

To give you a brief update on the situation, one guy and one girl. Both friends of mine. Being good friends of mine, I was lucky enough to know the perceptions and their respective story from both the sides. Coming back to the story, my friend and the lady in this story were really close and best friends since college. Of course I hope best friend doesn’t lead to a brand recall for Karan Johar’s Kuch Kuch Hota Hain… (eeiiissshhhh!!!!).

Really good friends, liked each other as friends for sure. Did have love for each other at certain periods of time, but unfortunately, in each cases, the synchronization didn’t match. When the guy liked the girl, the girl was involved somewhere else. Guy moved on and started looking for other options, but by then the girl was free. Guy doesn’t realize. Girl moves on. Guy suffers and wants to come back but the girl is not willing. She has other commitments. This goes on for the entire period of college. Yet they stick it out cos they are really good friends. Typical case of Harry met sally, or for the hindi audiences, the rani and saif starrer, Hum Tum, but with a twist.

Pass out from college, they are still in touch for the next three years. Really in good touch, talking everyday, about everything. In this duration both are thinking of getting married. But the guy likes her and wants to get married. Girl thinks rather than marrying a stranger, she should marry the guy. This is pinching the guys “male” ego. They talk a few times and discuss thoughts of getting married. Leave it marinated, but don’t put it into the oven. Guy goes abroad. Girl missed guy and vice versa. But girl is smart, moves on, has a new friend in her life and soon the broth is simmering here, while the previously marinated dish is in the freezer.

Guy returns, notices a change in behavior. Gets suspicious but then tells himself that he is probably being orthodox, and trusts the girl. Keeps in touch the way they were but he knows it somewhere internally that things are different. He decides to play with it.

He goes abroad again, come back after a longer period only to notice him self being given the second class citizen treatment. He decides he has had enough. He reduces the frequency of calls hoping she would figure out that he is back and is displeased. She doesn’t. Guy then tells her one day to speak only when she has the time for him and not when she is doing anything and everything under the sun.

Days convert to weeks and guy is overburdened at times with the thought on this matter, but not very stressed. Says what the f*&, we’ll see.

Next comes the holocaust, when the girl one day is talking to the guy and the guy asks her if there was some thing that she has been hiding. Of course the guy has got an idea and strong intuitions. The bombing of Hiroshima & Nagasaki. Girl tells him, I am getting engaged. Says sorry for having hurt the guys feelings and doesn’t talk much. Guy is stunned, at a loss of word, but as good friends gives her good wishes, and says that he would like to talk about their previous marinated relationship in the evening. Evening never comes and days pass by again. Guy tries to throw attitude by not taking her calls but eventually succumbs to the temptation and calls back, only to not talk properly.

Guy comes to me and discusses.

Analysis:
Wonderful case of male ego and chauvinism that’s is fucking up his mind up. He knew that the girl was not the ONE but yet he played on. Male ego hurt because he is at the receiving end, or at least he thinks he is. Didn’t want to get married for sure but the idea of his trust being misused is pissing him off.

Coupled with a genuine hurt from the girls side. But being the guy counselor, I’m not surprised that once again a woman has fucked up some ones mind, which is consistent behavior. Don’t blame the girl for getting married, but do blame for not handling the situation properly.

Being the guy from consulting background, I decide to do a brainstorming. Try to create a flowchart of events and doing a root cause analysis to understand the pain points and possibly give a road map ahead.

Given below is the crude form of the preliminary notes taken.

What went wrong?

You did like the idea of falling in love.
You were excited with the prospect of marrying some one from college which would amaze a lot of people.
You loved the idea that people would like it and this would make you more popular (you are a jack ass on this one mate!!!)
Despite friends telling you to give the commitment or the go ahead, you never did.
You just didn’t want to do it. Why?You were confused whether you actually liked her.
You were confused about the reaction from your home.
You were confused because she was vegetarian. (Lollzzz…!!!)
You dint like her cos she didn’t love you. She believed in the fact that rather than marrying a stranger, she would prefer marrying you because she knew you. This was unacceptable for you. You wanted love and nothing less.
She was not very attractive physically.
Gradually you were abroad for most of the time.
You didn’t really think you would marry her.
You were hoping that she is not waiting for you.
You were hoping that something comes up and she gets engaged so that you have one less reason to blame yourself and instead put the blame on her.
Yet, you always thought of her.
Now she is getting married. She has had an affair behind your back, when you were away.
She didn’t communicate it to you in the proper way.
All this time she hid it from you.
She didn’t take consent from you. Was she required to do so? Not at all! .


You are pissed off because
you are less important in her life.
May be She didn’t communicate it to you properly
All this time you saw it happening it beneath your nose but you didn’t pay heed to it.
You named it as trust and turned a blindfold to it.
You feel your trust has been cheated
You are not getting the attention
You are jealous and envious (man you are such a girl)
You feel cheated because at one point of time she spoke to you regarding marriage and then never spoke again. But all this time you thought you had something going on with her when actually she was sipping a cocktail with someone else.
She thinks she is smart by just acting cool.
She is happy and you are not
She doesn’t have the balls to speak to you in an honest manner and wants to avoid the confrontation. (Of course she doesn’t have balls you idiot.. she is a she…. !!!)
Your other friends knew about it but didn’t tell you about it…
You are suddenly thrown this news of her engagement
You are feeling claustrophobic.
You have to smile when you feel like crying
With every congratulation message, you face a blow in your stomach as if you are in the boxing ring.
She is so fucking concerned about her happiness, that she doesn’t sense the disappointment and sadness in your voice.
She is not bothered about you now and she doesn’t talk to you
When she talks its as if whatever.
You are not a part of her life.

Cheer up!!
Who gives a shit. Let her fuck off.She was not the one and you knew it very well. Definitely.
If she tried to act smart, let her. Small thinking.
She is selfish and she has right to that.
She is losing out on a good friend. (that’s you)You deserve some one better.
You anyways have to let go of her some day.
May be this is that day.
You didn’t want to get married to her, be honest to yourself and this is good that it is this way.
Let her move on.
You have to let go of her.
You are too busy with your life and career.
She is miniscule in comparison to the spectrum of your life
Anyways you knew it from the start that she couldn’t possibly wait for a time frame that you wanted to wait for.Its good, you don’t get blamed for the murder and yet your objective is achieved because of some one else.

Road ahead
Remember from past experience
Just move on. It was probably not meant to be.
Perhaps you would realize this some time later. May be it was good for you as well.
The girl is practical. You are emotional. That is the difference. Get over it.
Remember the dialogue in Dil Chahta hain when Amir Khan instigated Saif to go and fight with his girlfriend. He says “Be a man! Mard ban”
See, the reality is that she has made a choice and of course you are not in that picture.
You wanted it to be that way as well but your ego is coming in between.
Tell her why you think she is wrong and what has hurt you.
Eventually she would say sorry and you would suck up to the candy.
But by then it would not make a difference to you.
And for godsake, you are not love lost.
You are the captain of the ship, who has seen many storms. This is yet another small storm.
You knew it was coming.
Just face it now and get over with it.

The goddess of good looking, attractive females awaits you in the beach, slithering in the golden sand and awaiting for your arrival.
Cheers..!!!