It must have been love / Another one bites the dust

I wonder why people fall in love? Innocent question, yet the most complicated subjects to answer on. Despite considering the fact that 24 years is indeed miniscule in comparison to the extent of life one usually lives before considering themselves old enough to boast of wisdom, yet nonetheless I take upon the risk to say that all my life I have tried to understand what love is all about and trust me I’m truly clueless even after 3 serious affairs, and another two or three part time casual semi affairs. In fact with every new stint to experience true solace and tranquility, I regretfully end up with more and more contempt, bitterness and turbulence and perhaps greater wisdom and expertise.

I have often been plagued by periods of spasm, where there is a surge of over emotionalism in my mind and heart. Perhaps this is the time when I feel great joy and happiness and a sense of so called pre-contentment. A hope that dictates “Yes, there is a path that would lead me to a pool of happiness till eternity”. So, like a weary soldier, I walk on happily with my gun and backpack despite having waged numerous wars between the heart and the mind, onwards on the journey towards this oasis, which seems so lush green, so full of life and so heavenly. Just a hope because its never useless to dream. And innocuously, I fail to realize is that I am not walking towards an oasis but a mirage in this desert.

Feet bleeding, blistered and burnt after walking through cacti and hot sand, it seems there’s going to be no solace for this miserable heart that is so clueless, although ironically, at every possible moment of freedom, you see the same heart exuberant and exuding confidence and maturity, as if in a bid to show to the world how beautiful life is, and how content it is, telling the world “I’ve been there and done that” or rather “ I know it all, I’ve been through it and I know how things work. Trust me I know the dynamic and the equations of the phenomenon called love”.

And perhaps this is what is so beautiful about life, when you are in a position to outline and highlight the hidden irony. The time when you know that there is something so contradictory that is present, which can’t be seen by most people and you are amongst the very few who can identify it. Perhaps this is what gives you a feeling of being powerful.

Often I have seen, I like any other mortal, am the first person to laugh off scornfully at people who are so mushy and have those long dreamy eyelashes dripping with romance in them. Why? Simply, because I am so cool. I have seen it all and I know it all. Rather, I have the eyes of practicality, that tears the curtains of the obvious and find the hidden irony. I am the guy who has “been there done that”. I take arrogance as a compliment and not as derogatory comment that any cheap wannabe makes, just because he thinks he is the luckiest man alive.

Don’t you see the gray hair in my beard? No, doesn’t matter. Perhaps you do not have enough wisdom to see such trivial things such as my beard. Nonetheless, coming back to the point, I laugh and crack the wisest and most smart-ass comments on people. This gives me dual benefit of not only showing my contempt on the topic but also gives me popularity amongst my peers and letting them know of my so macho attitude. I carry forward pretending to be the narcissist. With every friend I meet, I tell them the same things.

Are you crazy? A woman. An affair. A relationship. No way. Do I look insane? Do you actually think that a guy like me would be mushy? It’s a waste of time. No I’m not gay but I a sensible. Women ruin your life. But perhaps behind the iron wall there is a nervousness that is so primeval in nature that you just don’t want to come to terms with.

I tell them why you should try and not get into this mess. I tell them that there is nothing called true love. It only happens in films and television serials. In reality, you always end up being hurt. There are gross misappropriations and deviation from the expectations that everyone has. I have seen this so many times with so many of my friends. Unless and until you are lucky enough to have found the perfect companion, all you can do is to sit wait like a hunter on the Machans of Jim Corbett National Park and count the black spots on your willy or the remaining few strands left on your bald head because of approaching old age.

Why do you need to fall in love? There is absolutely no point. It’s all a waste of time and energy. Men can never understand women. You think you can? Well if you think so then I think that you are gravely mistaken. Perhaps I am mistaken and I want a reason to believe in you. And that is probably why I challenge you in this topic. You see in reality, thing are actually so different. Trust me. I know as I write, this article has a twinge of betrayal, dash of pain, a spoonful of pessimism and loads of sarcasm, but I am sure like the person who knows how to search in the grit and dirt for a diamond, an experienced reader would realize that somewhere there is loads of disguised hope and optimism which is delicately wrapped in this write up. Somewhere down the line, irrespective of what I say or what people say, at some point of time or the other, there is a need for a soul mate. Call us social animal, or call us anything, it doesn’t really matter what we think or what we portray ourselves. Because the loneliness that is presented by the lifestyle of this century and in fact far beyond this century, it is perhaps in human nature rather man’s nature to be on the look out for a chance to settle down and find the perfect companion. The one. Of course people differ and case specific differences do exist. So if something I write is not suiting you, you could perhaps consider one those rare few ones.

I remember one of my very close acquaintances, who still has a very good influence and control on my life, had once told me the magic word “learn to live alone”. And live it that way because you like it and want it that way, not because you are having a bad time or because you want to forget your past. Every time you think on the lines of “ I’m learning how to live alone not because of choice but because of exhaustion of possible choices”, then trust me you are going to end up hurting your self all the more. Every conscious effort to make things conspicuous actually ends up making it all the more prominent and all the more difficult to control. It is like one of those promises you make to your self, which you want to promise yourself knowing that its best for you, but every time you think about the promise itself, you actually find it difficult to control the surge of emotions, feelings and desire, resulting in actually getting you come one step closer to breaking the promise and so in a way, hurting yourself.

You say today I don’t want to have coffee, because you know its not good for yourself, but every time you actually remind yourself of your pledge to not have coffee, it actually gets worse for you to control yourself. So the best way is to not think about it. Get yourself so busy involved in something or the other that actually makes it better for you to not remember. The irony though is that the acquaintance who suggested to live alone and enjoy was actually asking me to forget her and so I did.

Be content with yourself and your existence. Don’t make your self so dependable and vulnerable by making your existence in response to that of another. Your life is yours and no one else’s. So live it the way you like to and the way you want to. Often it all begins with one compromise and then another and goes on till the relation actually becomes more of a compromise and obligation. You feel choked and gagged and you desperately need some space and fresh air. It gets very claustrophobic to handle. In cases, you are so overwhelmed with the feeling of being in love that you don’t realize what is happening with yourself and then suddenly when the bubble bursts, you see that the dream is over and you are in the middle of nowhere. You set up a tent and start life all over again like the expeditions of the early man we read about in our class 2 social science books. Walking in a loincloth made of animal skin with a long beard and a spear in hand. Nah! I know I have this habit of over exaggeration, (as you must have realized by now!) What I mean is that you realize you have actually exhausted and depleted yourself of all emotions and feel drained and you have this feeling of phew! Lets start again. But what is critical is that you don’t repeat the same mistakes again.

Another friend of mine once told me that people are in love with the thought of actually falling in love. It kinds of gets so exciting and you conjure such a rosy picture about falling in love that you really forget the basics of being in a relationship in the first place.

You see in reality things are different. There is nothing called absolute love (Unfortunately or rather fortunately it exists only for Vodka). No one is perfect and nothing is permanent. Every one has his highs and lows. Your love for some one can’t always be expected to be flowing with a constant voltage like that required for the proper functioning of a fridge or air conditioner. It is not like a plug point that you fit and turn the switch on and Vola! You get true love at it its best! Absolute. Unadulterated. Fresh from the tree’s of Caribbean and served with a dash of lemon with crushed ice.

There are times when your feelings for some one else would fluctuate. It varies. One day you might not be in a state of mind to say those three words and when your partners might actually need it the most. So what do you do? Do you pretend with a false smile and say the words she likes. But she’s not a fool. She understands the lack on conviction. Or you just hurt her more by pushing her away. I know staunch loyalists and hardcore romantics would say things like so what? But then I don’t obviously intend to challenge such greats and rather lucky people. Why I write this is because often we are in love with the idea of being in love. So we paint pictures of fantasyland and you wake up to a rude shock when you don’t get what you thought you would. It is not the perfect harmony as you desire.

Now what if one day you come home and want some comfort in the arms of your partner, but she is too preoccupied and you feel neglected. And then some minor incidents really keep building up to a crescendo of despair, anguish and hurt.

It’s all a matter of clicking. A day with the gods favoring you as they favored Hector of Troy, with all the things clicking and everything sailing smooth, life can be so perfect and beautiful. But then everyday is not a Sunday and times may not favor you. You might actually find yourself facing the storm and end of the day you’ll be more confused than anyone as to what went wrong actually?

You are basically so involved with the thought and not the act. Its like you love to think that sex would be so wonderful, that you actually might not like it some time!! (Even though I believe that is not really possible, but then don’t draw inferences. I’m still you know….)

But having said like those management guru’s who only preach and use big terms, not knowing what it means, I don’t intend to say that live on and make a new start and that’s the end of it. It’s not like the ending of a fairy tale “They lived happily ever after”. Because life is real and not a fairy tale, so at times getting over someone and getting over a relation might be the toughest thing that one might have to through. At times, when love is diminishing, you have to create love and passion. In reality, you might have to make yourself love to keep the relationship moving.

Dealing with the past.

If you have not had a bitter taste till now, then perhaps what I write ahead might not actually be relevant.

The bitter taste is a reminder of the past that you might try to get rid of, but trust me somewhere or the other, be it over a glass of beer, it catches up with you like an old childhood friend. You try and run away and it still gets back. For no matter how fast you run, you are a convict and you can only run. Run from the past till you get on with your life by coming to terms what might have happened and saying that the past is something you can never forget completely. So just accept the truth and live with it. Yes every one has a past. Even I do. Even you do. Whether you like it or not, its there. But then the best you can do is to try and figure out a way to go on in life irrespective of anything. And this is when you can say you have evolved and that you have moved on. Dealing with the past is really tough and perhaps at times it is this that what deters you from actually being bold enough to move on.

I know I have spanned a large number of topics and perhaps, given the freedom, I might just go on and on, like a perennial river or an evergreen tree, flaunting wisdom. But trust me, I find myself more confused at times after one these discourses and certainly, I don’t intend this one to ending on a similar line. I don’t ask you to not live your life. I don’t ask you to suppress your feelings. Neither do I intend to scare you that you stop dreaming. Its just a man to man thing…one of those talks we might have had in a nearby pub over a drink. And now that I might be so far away, I thought why not pen down the wisdom. Perhaps writings would be there to remind you of my words long after my own existence perishes. And who knows I might actually turn into a big commercial writer someday, when someone famous goes through my site and offers me a break to write a book without actually asking me to succumb to casting couch in this world of sexual disorientations and MMS clips and scandals.

Hindustan

The other day I was just watching another popular flick that perhaps triggered some emotion deep inside me that perhaps was not known to me previously as well. We see so many movies and there are often myriad of emotions we experience. Dwelling deeper into the topic and just having a one to one chat with myself, while walking down on the road on my way to the local supermarket, I stumbled upon a quintessential question that took me on a journey of imagination about what is being Indian to the world?

Have you ever wondered as an Indian what it must be like to be an Indian from the eyes of the westener? I remember doing my soft skills presentation for IInd semester MBA and during the course of the end days, we were required to give a presentation. We chose the topic related to India. What makes it worthwhile to mention about the same here is one of those memorable nights, when I was with my friend Samiran Ghosh, one who has great intellect, for whom I hold great esteem and respect and one with whom I really love to brainstorm.

So, while brainstorming we were pondering upon the fact that it is totally something different to be living in India and being Indian from what people actually might think about us. And taking a lead from there as I write now, I am wondering what is India all about to the world? Of course the but natural and the most obvious answer that almost any kid down the road might answer is India “ The land of snake charmer and elephants. But I am sure we are much more than that, aren’t we! India is all about a myriad assortments of dishes served in a food exhibition. It is about culture, it is about color, spice, variety, diversity, religion, beautiful landscapes, and of course the sensual beauty of the Indian Woman. Irrespective of what you talk about, be it the rugged himalyas or the serene backwaters of Kerala, the spicy tandoori chicken of the north or the steaming idli’s of south, the festival of Holi Diwali or the celebration of so called non Indian festival like valentines day or the new years (as claimed by the cultural watch guards of the country who supposedly know what true Indian culture and morality is all about ), you have got to admit that there is something about this land that is so mystical. Spiritual, gourmet, haute couture, women, dressing, aroma. The underlying current that can perhaps make an attempt summarizing this country of ours is the dynamism and vibrancy that sets us apart.

I mean, we have this invisible cloak around us, a garb of diversity and unity, one that exhibits camaraderie, the dynamism and vibrancy coupled with good societal conditions, amazingly strong family ties and bonds of emotions. Brotherhood, humbleness, mother hood and I mean everything. We are perhaps the rare ones who have this amazing capability to see things in a way that is an irresistible mix and balance between materialism and spiritualism. We have often taken pride in mocking the west for its excessive obsession with materialism and useless display of power. We have something that attracts people from all around the world to actually come to us to seek peace of mind, solace, tranquility and serenity.

Any topic, any country, any person, and any thing always have different frames of existence. For instance, as a person, I might be an arrogant ass and a pompous inflated egocentric idiot, but there might be a different aspect that might be known to my friends. A city like Delhi might boast of having wonders for tourists like the Qutab and the Humayun’s Tomb, but at the same time it is also the rape capital of the country. I remember the rape of a Delhi student at the Khooni Darwaja or the Dilli Darwajah.

Call it the irony or the paradox, but there is a definite way of looking at things. And it usually differs from person to person.

Anyways, so the other day, I was just flicking the channels on the tube and I just was lucky enough to catch a movie that was just beginning. It turned out to be those off beat movies, the so-called ventures of the west on the east. The royal perception of the white skin on the colonized individuals of the past. So essentially it was rather, the westernized ABCD Indian movies. (ABCD= American Born Confused Desi for the people who don’t know!!). These movies are supposedly very popular in the current times and in fact quite humorous. Popular artists like Kal Penn and likes featuring in hit flicks like American Desi, Dude Where’s the party, ABCD, Harold and Kumar got to White Castle, Flavors, and the list goes on.

Watching these flicks is usually hilarious and very amusing and definitely a good value for money and the best time pass. But one of these movies actually made my mind think form a different perspective. It was as is for a change I was not in a 100m dash, rather I was going through hurdles, each one increasing in height like a son going through puberty and teenage. Perhaps it triggered something in me that tried to justify certain thoughts and the more I tried, the more difficult the next questins became. I could visualize myself running in the Olympic hurdles and visualize the gradual transition of the normal hurdles into the high jump and going on to the pole vault.

Well you see, I was obviously having a great time watching the flick and seeing how confused Indians were and how different their parents were and how they had to find the way for their self definition and existence. Stuck in a momentary spasm or a temporal dysfunctional distortion, it was indeed difficult for me to imagine what life must be for an Indian born and living abroad. Being imposed the Indian culture by parents on a child who has to live abroad amidst a different lifestyle and perhaps this was the message that might have been intended to be conveyed. Yet, myself being an Indian, I realized and questioned what is the impression and perception that might be conveyed about us to the world by these movies.

As was apparent, in a bid to introduce humour into the movie and to try and make things look apparently very down to earth and real, and also avoiding the gloss usually existent on every typical commercial movie, great injustice is done to not only us but also to people around the world watching these flicks. Indians are not just about being the geeks with well oiled side parted hair. Indians arriving at the US are not people who just come there as orphans or as a curse for the American society. Neither is it true that all Indians of the last generation are orthodox lunatics who totally turn out to be insolent bastards who do nothing but sit down and criticize the world or are scared that there culture might get erased in the foreign land.

Forgive my cynicism and sneering approach, but somehow, as I saw one of these movies, I actually say it as an unjustified attempt to generate popularity and being termed as off beat cinema by actually over hyping and unduly portraying certain facts about Indians which seemed to shout out and asking me to smell the coffee. Understandably, every individual has insecurity about a new environment. Today if yu are aksed to go to a new country and settle down, there are issues that are predominantly existent, that can’t be avoided. If you are a student, you have to adapt to the culture there. Similarly, if you are a working executive, you have to adjust to the corporate culture in that context. Like they say, when in Rome do as the Romans.

So why is it that score of movie have to particularly focus and show that Indians arriving to the US are geeks, who wear thick black rimmed glasses and are always glaring at the girls. Is it not that every one takes some time to settle down and if it is so, then why does it need to be portrayed in a manner that makes it seem to be so derogatory. So what if parents are paranoid over their teenage children. It doesn’t necesaarily require that parents be symbolized to be fetish wearing leather trousers and garner belts with a whiplash in their hands and constantly spreading ill about US and mocking their children.

Undoubtedly, I can understand the theme that might be shown in these movies, yet it is imperative that we understand the kind of image that might be affecting the perception of people who might not know in great detail about us and our civilization. Perhaps everyone might not know about India and Indians, yet portraying various facets and aspects in way to taunt and generate humor and pretending to be making a different feel turns out to be very satirical and sadistic and perhaps a cheap way of portraying things. And I felt so derogatory seeing the depiction of Indians in such movies, which was nothing short of the traditional and conventional thought westerners always have of us.

There is something called drawing a line and I hope I don’t be unfortunate enough to smile with sarcasma nd mock with pity that people have to resolve to cheap tricks to sell movies.

Perhaps we are too evolved to usually let such mediocre incidents pass under our noses as these things really don’t make a difference to us and our sense of existence.

Cinemato Magicia

The other day I was just watching another popular flick that perhaps triggered some emotion deep inside me that perhaps was not known to me previously as well. We see so many movies and there are often myriad of emotions we experience. Dwelling deeper into the topic and just having a one to one chat with myself, while walking down on the road on my way to the local supermarket, I stumbled upon the quintessential question “What is cinema all about?” “What is the essence and objective of any movie?”

As I continued walking, I actually enjoyed this self-debate. You see it is of uttermost importance that a person should be in a position of continuous conversation with himself. This helps you in coming closer to yourself and helping you find your true self. Nonetheless, coming back to the point, I continued to tread on this dusty and hazy path for answers and not realizing that while walking, occasionally I would stumble on a stone or perhaps casually kick a small piece of gravel, not realizing that it actually rose a lot of dust and made the air more dusty and hazy. An equivalence of the metaphor used can be translated in simpler terms to the fact that there were points of self doubt and at times, self induced questions purposefully to not only confuse myself but also to add to the fun of a more intellectual clash of the titans. Like they say, the best vs the best. The time when I was surrounded by qualms on such a debate, thinking whether I was treading on the right path or not, and further, a sense of insecurity regarding the question not being essentially a rhetoric one!

Without ambushing around or rather beating around a bush doing jinga lala with nothing but a leaf around my groin, let me come to the point. Recently, being at home and having a lot of disposable time, I reckoned that perhaps this is the best time to pursue some creative or rather some interesting hobby that would keep me engrossed and remove the loneliness of a monotonous life that I possess. And what better than being a couch potato and pursuing my long lost love for movies.

So, as I got prepared to talk on this voyage to the unknown like captain Kirk and Mr. Spock of Star Trek, I ventured to the nearest DVD store and got a pile of movies. Movies that were nominated for the Oscars or movies of the past that I hadn’t caught up.

To begin with what is the objective of cinema? I think cinema is nothing but the art of story telling. It is this art of story telling that encompasses various aspects and can be distinguished and demarcated based on different criterion into different spheres and realm. But irrespective of how you see it, the crux of the matter still is that it is an art of story telling. The art that all of us have been fond of right from the days of childhood, when someone used to tell us stories of fairies and elves and withes, or perhaps the common folklore, those anecdotes which brought about vivid images of varying diversity.

It encompasses things like colour, photography, sound and various other aspects that perhaps make this whole imaginary world so exciting and perhaps makes us dream. Dream of things we want to see or dream of things we perhaps are scared to see. Irrespective of come what may, it is something that draws us like people hypnotized under the crazy spell of a dreary and evil witch.

As I was seeing a whole lot of movies right from Brokeback Mountain to Munich to Crash and other older movies like The Saint, Ronin, Beautiful Life, Gladiator, I actually stumbled upon another very essential ingredient for any movie. Its called feelings and emotions. The response generated by the chemical hormonal system in your body in response to the variety of situations simulated in any movie.

Excitement, horror, comedy, remorse, sadness. Its all actually about connecting to the audience and getting the target audience with the intended emotions and feelings. As a viewer, what is it that actually happens. I always have some sort of a preconceived notion about every motion in some way or the other. Either I am informed by means of newspaper reviews, advertisements, trailers, or gossip of friends who have already seen the movie, references made by acquaintances, and whole lot of other ways. And I f nothing, then perhaps some miniscule of imaginations, a dash of creativity and a tinge of interpolation, I always end up having some sort f a viewpoint prior to the starting of the movie.

As the movie progresses, there are unimaginable number of permutations and combinations of what might happen, leading to like, dislike or perhaps a confused state for the movie. Without dwelling deeper into this side of the moon, I realized that it is the emotions that the movie generate actually make all the difference. On one hand you have the typically commercial movie that have a predefined strategy with the right mix of all the ingredients to make a super hit movie, that might leave us awestruck or happy or sad or for that manner, in any possible frame of mind as the movie intends to. I mean, you go to see a Jean Claude Van Damn movie or a Sylvester Stallone movie or perhaps a Dolph Lungredn movie, it is but obvious you would clench your fist and grit your teeth as you see the power packed explosives blowing away and grenades bursting in air and the lady in distress actually looking out to their knights in shining armour actually rescuing them. Similarly, any Jerry Bruckheimer or John Woo movie is typically one draws attention and is a sure shot seller and a hit.

And then there are these movies that leave me baffled. These movies that are totally against the conventional norm, with experimentation, different mixes and different strategy and with topics that may or may not be different, but differ in some quintessential manner. I mean specially these movies which are nominated for Oscars or other awards and other movies that might be actually not receiving the fame and stardom. I mean there are a number of movies, that actually a mirror the society, that articulately pin point things in human nature or life or the society that we usually try to overlook. Movies like Brokeback Mountain, Crash, Munich, Boys don’t cry, Schindlers List, 15 Park Avenue, Beautiful Mind, the list goes on. I know it would be unfair and great injustice to label all these movies as similar or to assess them on a common platform, but nonetheless, there are so many movies that are perhaps so real that they defy our standards and expectations and actually stand out blatantly looking out to you, violating every measure and glaring out to you.

Brokeback Mountain. I saw this movie, with a predefined notion expecting something great and another predefined notion that being gay is something so sick. Nonetheless, eventually the movie neared its end and in fact even as it ended, there was something so different. I knew it failed me in my expectations, and I kept asking for more, but some thing me stopped me from calling the movie as useless and a waste of time. It generated this entire feeling of being overwhelmed and left large traces of residual emotions that infact kept me dazed and confused. A walk alone as I walked to the nearest market, I actually realized the undercurrent and the theme that the movie was actually focusing on. Finding the theme was actually like standing on the threshold of seventh heaven and just on the verge of entering a blissful eternity.

I saw Munich and Crash and although things were not so dismal as it was above, but nonetheless, it did take time for me to emerge victoriously from a tug of war between the expected feelings and emotions generated by the movie and those that in a way hindered me from actually taking a peek into the actual theme.

Irreversible, another movie of monica belluci, was perhaps one of the most grotesque movie that I have seen in a long time. Perhaps the weirdest movie that I have ever seen till now. Call it my inexperience or inability to actually understand a work of art. While not intending to flaunt experience and wisdom, and accepting that any work of art deserves credit and differs on a person to person basis depending on the perception of any individual, this movie, irrespective of how it might have been, actually focused on another critical issue of rape, the dark side of any city, prostitution, she males and love.

There are different things and aspects about every movie that leaves some sort of an imprint on the minds of viewers like footsteps on wet sand. Captain Correlli’s Mandolin, Malena, Brokeback Mountain are amongst various movies that have such a beautiful cinematography and picturesque sceneries that make it worthwhile to watch these movies. Again some movies have tunes and themes that touch the heart and make the viewers coonect to it.

Irrespective, it is this magic that is woven by movies that we all love and it is the child in us that is hidden somewhere that still loves to clutch on to your two fingers and go on long walks. As the sun sets and as the grains of sand along with the blades of grass caress our feet, we like to go on and on this journey to the unknown, with a story and then another that makes us dream and imagine.

Amused

I am so amused at the kind of replies I am getting from people on one of my very favourite peices of work. This post featured on this site a few weeks back called "Can't Freinds Fall In Love?"

While I am indeed indebted to a number of people who have posted comments and in fact spoken to me in some way or the other. As a writer, appreciation and feedback, both are of immense importance for motivation of better work, yet nonetheless, in this case, I seem to have been very surprised and amused and in fact disheartened after the things I read and heard in response from people.

What did sadden me was that, a literary peice of work, purely fictional and yet written in first person, solely with the point of making the work of art more effective and so that it brings out clearly the idea that is wrapped delicately in the coating of words.

Nonetheless when readers correspondingly used their analytical skills to draw inferences to my personal life, and think they know me so well and tell me with conviction that they could some how sense and comment on my personal life, it has really hurt me and correspondingly, the same blog has been removed.

I do take this as infringement of privacy although technically speaking, one may contradict me saying that publishing a blog in itself is not something that can be called as PERSONAL.Consequently, my reply would be that any publication on the blog doesn't give the right to irrational inferences and further rumours and useless assumptions.

I am afraid this indeed turned out to be a very bitter expereince, nonetheless purely for my assumption that rational people interested in reading good literary peices of work are actually appreciating my work.While I sincerely thank all readers for reading my article and appreciating the work as a classic, yet I also regret that a few people with cheap mentality who take a kick and thrill by senseless correlations are also my readers.

While I can't restrict me readership to people of unsound mind and uncanny charecter, yet nonetheless, I continue to write unperturbed without any moderate incidents affecting me, and considering this episode as a hazard that people have to face in their professional lives, I only smile and continue writing, cos that is what I love and irrespective of such mediocre incidents, I continue walking.

Coming Back to Life

These are the lyrics to one of my favourite Pink Floyd song. Its called Coming back to life, featured in th album Division Bell, which is undoubtedly, one of the best albums of Pink Floyd. If you listen to the Wall and then to the Division Bell, you see a drastic change in the style of music and sound.

This song is one of my personal favourites and has amazing guitaring.

Hail Pink Floyd

"Coming Back To Life"

Where were you when I was burned and broken
While the days slipped by from my window watching
Where were you when I was hurt and helpless
Because the things you say and the things you do surround me
While you were hanging yourself on someone else's words
Dying to believe in what you heard
I was staring straight into the shining sun

Lost in thought and lost in time
While the seeds of lifeand the seeds of change were planted
Outside the rain fell dark and slow
While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible pastime
I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life

I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the waiting had begun
And headed straight..into the shining sun